How to write a first chapter that will keep editors and agents reading
WHEN YOUR NOVEL manuscript is complete, you’ll send query letters and a synopsis to literary agents and publishing houses. Agents and editors often want up to three chapters. You’ll review and polish those pages before sending them. But actually your work in creating a compelling first chapter begins when you type your first words on the first pages of your novel. You want to make your early pages so interesting that an agent reading them will respond with those magical words: “Send the full manuscript.”
So here are seven steps for making your first chapter intriguing, gripping and powerful.
1 Plunge into your story. Begin with your strong, empathetic main character involved in a scene. Show your character facing a challenge, decision or course of action on page one–or better, in paragraph one, or even line one. Hit the ground running with activity–not with biography, history or backstory. Here’s how:
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Begin in the middle of an event, in a scene in which the main character is involved in an activity with at least one other person. Write provocative dialogue and show their actions. Start the plot solidly so that later you can keep it rolling forward, fleshing out the main character’s goals, challenges and motivations that will come to full fruition.
Following are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 1 of my novel The Case of Compartment 7. The first paragraphs show John Darnell and his wife about to embark on a journey on the most famous train in the world and reveal that John is there to work on a new case.
April 15,1914,6:00 p.m.
John and Penny Darnell left their cab at the Gare de Lyon train station in Paris and hurried forward toward the massive building. Porters followed with their bags. A drizzle of fine rain greeted them, and the streets were dark and wet on this cool spring night.
“Oh, John, this is so exciting!” Penny looked up at the ancient brick train station that confronted them, the huge archways and the clock tower staring down upon them. “The Orient Express! I can’t believe it.”
“Remember, I’m here to work. This is a case.”
2 Humanize your main character. Show the empathetic nature and attitudes of the character early on through dialogue and actions, and by internalization–by “going into the character’s head.” Readers love characters who seem like real people, and they will read new books featuring characters they like.
To create a lifelike main character, write a biography of the character from birth to date. In the biography, include birthplace, parents, marital status, occupation, love interest, aspirations, good qualities and faults. Inject these qualities and features into the story in the first pages, creating a flesh-and-blood human character–a human being on paper–with personality and attitudes.
You want to show the agent or editor what makes your main character tick, reveal the importance of his or her goals, and arouse interest in the character’s achieving them. “The secret of a story, to me, is a likeable character going through almost overwhelming odds to win a worthwhile goal,: said writer, editor and publisher Marion Zimmer Bradley. Make sure your character and your plot meet this test. A main character must be somewhat larger than life and on the edge of the “bell curve”–that is, more interesting than the average person.
As to names, Elmore Leonard says, “Names are terribly important. I spend forever coming up with names.” For uniqueness and memorability, give your main characters first and last names that fit their natures. Use relatively short names, with a total of two or three syllables for a man or four for a woman.
In Chapter 1 of my first mystery, The Case of Cabin 13, readers are introduced to John Darnell. He is consulted by the Titanic’s Captain Smith and Chairman Bruce Ismay of the White Star Line. Darnell says, “I don’t shake hands–health reasons you know.” He pulls on an oversized Chinese silk robe given him by his servant, Sung. He offers sherry to his visitors and has a glass himself. The reader learns that bachelor Darnell likes his “usual cold supper of beef, cheese and bread.” He reveals a sense of humor. More important, in the first chapter, Darnell accepts the most dangerous case of his career.
3 Don’t forget romance. I character is like “a new human being”–which is what Konstantin Stanislavski, the legendary teacher of method acting, rightly insisted on–there must be a romantic interested in your story. Often that person is introduced in the first chapter, and various alternatives are possible. Your main character might meet someone new during the story, have an ongoing four romantic interest, or be in a relationship that is becoming rocky and could end. The romantic interest of the main character must be as realistic as the main and character, with his or her own biography, point of view, strengths, weaknesses two and challenges.
In Cabin 13, Professor John Darnell begins a romance with Penny Winters aboard ship at the massive Titanic’s rail at Southampton as they watch a near collision with a much smaller ship. Penny shouts, “We’re going to hit that other ship!’” She instinctively grabs Darnell’s arm. When the captain avoids the crash, Penny says, “Who said sailing was dull? I wonder if this was a bad omen.” John laughed. “Only if you’re superstitious, which I’m definitely not.” He invites her: “Would you like some champagne?” And she accepts. Thus, the romance begins in the early pages of the book.
4 For Give your main character a sidekick. A friend, partner or companion–someone the main character can talk and share experiences with–is vital to the story development. Their relationship can produce dialogue, The actions and events to move the story along and reveal their characteristics.
Through contrasting features, create airman a sidekick who is different from the protagonist. If the main character is male, give him a female sidekick; if older, provide a younger sidekick; if seasoned, give him or her a raw recruit or trainee as a partner. And consider a bicultural relationship. Darnell’s sidekick in the first book is his valet, Sung, who travels with him on the Titanic. Authors have added depth to their stories with such fictional sidekicks as Sherlock Holmes’ comrade, Dr. Watson; Lord Peter Wimsey’s butler, Bunter; and Robinson Crusoe’s man Friday.
A main character’s wife or husband may fill the roles of both romantic interest and sidekick. In Partners in Crime, Agatha Christie wrote of the adventures of Tommy and Tuppence, who had a partnership relationship as well as a romantic one. In my novels, John and Penny Darnell, following their marriage, share adventures in the mysteries he encounters. Making a comparison to Dashiell Hammett’s characters in The Thin Man, one book reviewer said of John, “His wife, Penny, whom he met on the Titanic and who often assists in his investigations, gives the books a ‘Nick and Nora Charles’ feel, which adds to the human interest–as does Darnell’s valet and general factotum, Sung.”
5 Create a strong antagonist. An antagonist is the opponent and obstructionist, someone strong and forceful who creates problems and sometimes dangers for the main character, and is the important source of the principal conflicts in your novel. A reader of mystery and intrigue will quickly think of Sherlock Holmes’ nemesis, the powerful and dreaded Professor Moriarty, and James Bond’s criminal adversaries in Spectre, headed by the dangerous “Number One.”
When the main character defeats a strong antagonist who is nearly as tough and clever as he, that then becomes a major event. In Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead, the antagonist opposes the intellectual and aesthetic principles of a dedicated architect. In some books, even in nonfiction titles like The Perfect Storm, Mother Nature is a dangerous antagonist stirring up a violent sea, volcanic eruption, tidal wave or earthquake. Conflict may also lie in a main character’s internal struggles, with an addiction, for example, or with other personal faults or decisions. The antagonist is the character’s inner self.
An evil character in my novel The Case of the 2nd Seance, the deadly Baldrik, is a cold-blooded killer. He had worked in morgues, and grim rumors had detailed his sadistic habits with knife and hatchet, earning him the nickname and reputation of “the mutilator.” Yet Baldrik’s superior was an even more dangerous and powerful antagonist, a mysterious man who orders the kidnapping of the prime minister’s daughter in a conspiracy to force the political leader to pull England out of World War I.
6 Build emotion into your plot. Emphasize emotions to show that characters are lifelike, with feelings, so that readers will care more about them as they try to reach their goals and so that agents and editors are drawn into the story quickly. Do this by developing character relationships in scenes with strong dialogue, action and internalization. Remember how poet Robert Frost admonished writers: “No tears in the writer–no tears in the reader.” A reader will lose interest in a story that is too simple, lacking conflict and emotion. Begin a subplot with a personal problem of the main character, and foreshadow future events in early pages.
Emotions come from powerful scenes and dialogue, and they run a wide gamut, perhaps involving love, hate, fear, amazement, sorrow or rage. And they are not confined to the main character. In my mystery The Case of the Ripper’s Revenge, the story begins shortly before John Darnell is brought into the case, in a scene that sets the stage with characters who have continuing roles in the story:
London, Thursday night, August 30, 1917.
The woman gasped, grabbed her friend’s arm, and pointed at the dark, caped figure faintly visible through the fog at the end of the street. “It’s the ghost again, Bessie!” she shrieked. “Second time I seen ‘im. My Gawd!” She looked sidelong at the woman standing beside her, who was staring where she had gestured. She released her arm, but urged, “See?”
“I don’t see nothin’, Sadie. Where?”
“There! Oh, e’s gone.” She leaned against the lamppost, shuddered, and fanned her face with her hand. “We got to find the constable.”
The thrust of the story is clear, with the appearance of an eerie figure that people in the story and readers will soon realize resembles Jack the Ripper, and the book is off and running.
In To Die, or Not to Die, my sixth historical mystery novel set in Stratford-upon-Avon in 1919, John Barrymore, the world-famous actor and a real-life character in the novel, acts in Shakespeare plays while Professor John Darnell investigates murders. Barrymore is attracted to a flirtatious young English actress who teases him on his age, in the romantic interlude that follows:
John Barrymore closed the hall door of his suite behind him with his heel and, in one motion, swept Felicia Baron into his arms, kissing her passionately. He was pleased to feel the warmth in her response. “I’ve wanted to do that since I met you this morning,” he said. “I know,” Felicia breathed. “I could feel your eyes on me all day.”
Later he asked: “Why are you here in this quaint village instead of on a big city stage?” She responded: “Like London? I do have ambitions, John. But you have to start somewhere. You should remember that, even at your age.” Barrymore grimaced. “I’m not that ancient. Mid-thirties.” She laughed. “Mid, going on forty. But I’m only twenty-six, John.”
7 Put it all together. Your writing style–that is, how you use the language–can grip the reader. Write scenes in an active voice with meaningful dialogue. Show the main character’s thoughts, feelings, emotions and conflicts. Add complication, foreshadowing and subplots in your first pages to suggest that the remainder of the story will be even more interesting.
Within the first chapter, the desires and determination of the main character to succeed, and the problems caused by the schemes of the antagonist, can point toward a powerful but as yet undetermined climax.
Using these steps will help you make your first chapter one that leaves the editors or agents wanting more. Then, they may ask to see your entire novel, which could lead to its publication.
* writermag.com
For examples of how Sam McCarver uses the elements he describes in this article in his openers, go to The Writer Web site and click on Online Extra.
BEFORE AND AFTER
Put your main character in action
Problem
You may feel you should begin your novel with background, history, biography or descriptions of settings–but doing so will delay the start of your real story. Here’s an example of a background opening that proceeds too slowly into the story’s action:
Detroit was suffering from 100-degree heat and humidity of 90, making tempers equally high. The shootings had occurred several nights earlier, and police were looking for several suspects, two of whom were seen in the neighborhood and had been known to have strong disputes with the victim. Reactions to the shootings, which resulted in the deaths of two teenage boys, had not yet exploded into riot form, but now that 24 hours had passed without comment by the police, officials expected a backlash and were drafting an announcement to be delivered by the mayor at the site of the crime. The mayor’s safety was a concern, and a police squad had been assigned to protect him.
Mayor Brad Donovan, who had worked his way up in the police department, becoming police chief and then running for mayor a year ago, was looked on as a reformer. Expectations were high for his performance, but he had not produced results.
Solution
Editors reading early pages like this might ask: “When does this story start?”–meaning, “When will we see some action and dialogue in a scene?” So why not start with your character in action in a scene, instead of narrative backstory. Then, later on, supply any foundational narration or biography in smaller, more appropriate chunks.
For a more effective opening, then, grab your reader’s interest with your first sentence and first paragraph, showing your main character in action with dialogue, and create conflict that reveals characters’ emotions:
Mayor Brad Donovan shouted into the microphone, “If you’ll let me speak, I’ll tell you what we’re going to do.” The crowd noise abated only slightly and he repeated, “Let me speak!”
The residents of the neighborhood where police had shot two teenagers the day before quieted down just enough for Donovan to go on.
“I know you’re upset. I am, too. I’ll get to the bottom of this, I assure you. I’ll speak on this every day and tell you exactly what’s happening. Is that fair?”
A gray-haired woman at the front of the crowd shouted, “He was my grandson. Can you bring my Robbie back? That would be fair.” She seemed about to fall, and two women took her arms to hold the woman upright.
Donovan jumped down from the platform and strode forward to the woman. He put his arm around her and spoke to her alone, in a soft voice. “I can’t do that. I can’t bring him back. But I can bring justice to you. And to this town.”
–Sam McCarver
WORKOUT
IN A TYPICAL NOVEL, your four primary characters will be: The Main Character (protagonist), main character’s Sidekick, the main character’s Romantic Interest, and the Antagonist. For each of these write a narrative biography of two or three paragraphs, describing briefly their lifestyles, physical appearances, internal attitudes and external relationships.
RESOURCES
IN WRITING YOUR novel manuscript, draw upon the experiences, ideas, advice and perspectives of other authors and writing instructors by referring to the following books:
• The Art and Craft of Novel Writing by Oakley Hall. The author discusses elements of fiction and the writing process, and provides examples.
• The Art of Dramatic Writing by Lajos Egri. Originally written for writers of stage-play drama, it applies just as forcefully to concepts important in the writing of novels.
• The Career Novelist by Donald Maass. A renowned literary agent offers his unique and practical insights and strategies for success in writing novels.
• Dare to Be a Great Writer: 329 Keys to Powerful Fiction by Leonard Bishop. The major novel components, organized by topic, are discussed interestingly in a few paragraphs.
By: McCarver, Sam, Writer, Sep2006
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